Beauty Is In The Eye of The Beholder

For those who are truly aware that they are not beautiful or handsome, it's not a matter of feeling sorry for themselves or thinking badly of themselves. They simply have looked at themselves objectively, and have accepted the truth that they are not a madly beautiful woman or greatly handsome man. But, they also have "tells" that let them know they are accepting the truth. They have heard the difference when someone mentions how they look. They have heard, 'oh, you look nice,' or the like, but they never hear someone say, spontaneously, 'oh how pretty/handsome you are!'Oh, they may hear someone say that they are handsome/pretty/cute, if they mention that they are not. Normally a relative or a good friend will almost immediately tell them they are, but that doesn't really ring true to the person of average looks. That relative or friend only says they are when they hear the person saying they aren't.

Now, this is not about people feeling sorry for themselves, or people who are digging for compliments. This is about those people in the sea of humanity who are average or below average in the looks department. We all know they exist. In fact, most of us will talk about them behind their backs and talk about how badly they look or even think of ways they could make themselves look better, but no one wants to say these things to the average or below average looking person. Instead, if the subject is brought up, the immediate response is to lie to them and tell them that they are, in fact, cute or pretty or handsome or good looking. But that person already knows they're not. And 99% are okay with it and they're not trying to get anyone to lie to them or feel sorry for them. They are just stating an established fact.

There are those who are, in fact, beautiful people who cannot accept their appearance as being beautiful or handsome. If someone tells them they are, they'll argue that they're not or that they don't feel or believe they are. Most of these people have low self-esteem and are truly not aware that they are appealing in their appearance. But, these people respond to spontaneous comments about their appearance on a regular basis. Their response is negative because of their inability to truly see and accept their appearance due to their low self-esteem. They will sometimes bring up their looks as being below average in order to hear someone tell them different, but it's all part of their low opinion of themselves, not due to a need to hear someone tell them they are beautiful or handsome.

Of course, there are those on the extremes of this issue: those who truly believe they are the most beautiful/handsome and those who truly believe they are the ugliest. There may be a few of them who are correct, but their attitudes about themselves are off-putting because their ego is either super inflated or truly flattened. No one really wants to spend time with either of those extremes.

But, why do we judge a person based on their physical attributes? There are beautiful people who have the worst morality and would steal, kill and destroy without thinking twice. And there are those who have absolutely no physical attribute that will grab attention and their hearts and souls are filled with love and kindness, compassion and empathy. Why do we gravitate toward the physical appearance when it's what is in the soul and spirit of people that we are in need of? The most beautifully wrapped package could contain the deadliest of poisons. A plain paper bag might contain the most coveted gem. Truth is, the most gorgeous diamond of all time, the Hope Diamond, arrived at the Smithsonian Institute in a plainly wrapped parcel box.

Why can't we judge a person's beauty on the fruits of their life rather than their physical attributes. To be honest, most people cannot take any credit for their appearance because it was merely their genetic makeup that gave them the looks they have. It's in their behavior and their honor that we should judge their beauty. The Bible tells us to judge the fruit: look to see if someone is caring, compassionate, empathetic, sympathetic, giving. Those traits are the ones that should be present before we label someone as beautiful or handsome. After all, even the ugliest person on earth is the most beautiful person on earth to the ones who love him or her.