I've been thinking about family a lot lately; it's really no wonder what with the adoption of Xavier and Talia being finalized and then becoming the adopted Grandpa for little Alexander. When I think of my family I think of those 5 Godchildren, Sami, Xavier, Talia, JJ & Beka. And I think of my honorary grandson, Alexander. And I think about the children of my heart, Misty, Christy and Ben. And, of course, I think of my biological son, David Wayne and pray that I'm one day closer to seeing him and being able to tell him how much I've loved him over the last 38 years. And I think about those with whom I share DNA, my biological brothers and sisters, my foster brothers and sister and all the cousins from my Mom's side, Dad's side, Bonnie's side and Ann's side. When I really get started counting, I have a massively large family because it also includes the family that adopted me in, Janice, Dennis, Jordan, Philip, Tami, Mary, Terry, Hoyte.
I think of the love, the giving, the caring and the enjoyment we get from just being together or talking on the phone. Often when we talk we don't speak of anything of any importance, we're just talking to one another to assure one another that we're still here for each other. We catch up on what's going on in our day to day lives, the headaches, heartaches, frustrations, joy, happiness and gifts we receive daily. I'm not in contact with a lot of my DNA family; it's by their choice, not mine, but I still think of them, pray for them and long to hear from them. I miss them because they are not a part of my day to day life and I so wish they were. But, they have chosen their own family, a mix of DNA and chosen members, for themselves and for whatever reason they chose to not include me in that circle.
But the truth is, my Godchildren aren't just my friends' children whom they have gone through the motions of saying this is your godchild and that's the end of it. For me, my Godchildren are my children! I consider myself to be one of their parents! They can come to me and talk to me about anything and I won't judge them, but I will try to influence them to make the correct choices in order to lead a good, stable, healthy and successful life. But, if they do something wrong, I'm gonna be right there to tell them they did wrong, as well! I've adopted the parenting style of my foster Mom, Ann Hale. Hands on with love and caring, hands off with trying to make them do what I want them to do and allow them to make their choices. It is, after all, their life and they are the ones who will live it. But that brings me back to that one word that can mean so many different things to so many different people: family.
God places us into a family when we are conceived. The vast majority of the time that family will be there with a person for the rest of their life. Sometimes God places someone into a family at conception that will not participate in that life after birth. And sometimes children are born into a family that just cannot maintain a family unit and those children are then placed with non-DNA families and they live a rich, full life with those who chose them to be part of their family. But, there are so many families out there like mine that are mixture of the two types and that's what makes it such a rewarding, rich life for those who are part of that circle. They know they were chosen and even those who are connected by DNA have chosen to remain a part of their life. They are among people who love them and accept them, support them and encourage them.
I've come to the conclusion that family is merely a group of people who love one another. Who want to participate in this journey we call life with those who are a part of that family whether by blood or by choice. I've seen DNA families that may meet the legal definition of family but they don't fit what I believe to be God's definition, because there is no love between the members. And where there's no love is a place I do not want to be.
