We all know people who make comments that are hurtful, but they say it as a "joke," so we can't really complain about what they're saying or we look like someone who is overly sensitive. Or they make jokes with just enough barb to them that you know they really mean what they're saying but want to hide it behind a joke so they can't be held accountable.
This type of thing has always bothered me because it's just another way of not truly being real in a relationship. And it's a way of not truly taking responsibility for their actions, statements or behavior. They think because it's a "joke" it's okay. But the fact remains, the pain they inflict is real, not a joke. But, to them, hurt feelings aren't really pain. And if they are, it's not their fault, it's the person whose feelings were hurt's fault. They should "toughen up." But these people tend to be people who have suffered enough hurt and pain in their lives that they can't just "toughen up."
Words are powerful. Jesus taught us that the power of life and death are in the tongue. Words can create or destroy. Words can bring joy or sorrow. They can build up or tear down. And the one speaking those words will have to answer for them one day; not to man but to God. Matthew 12:36-37 says, "But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned." But what does it mean to say "idle words?" Idle words lack purpose or intention; they fill the air with meaningless noise. I know I don't want to stand before God and have to answer for saying things that had no purpose or were just a bunch of noise. I only want to hear God say, "well done" when I enter His presence. I don't want Him questioning me about things that didn't have purpose.
There's an old children's rhyme that parents have used for generations to try to help children not really give words much importance, but the truth of the matter is that words may not break bones, but they do break spirits, hearts and the wounds they inflict may last a lifetime.
