Monday, August 4, 2014

Respect and Common Courtesy

There are two things that I place extreme value on in any relationship, besides the obvious honesty, trust and integrity; those two things are respect and common courtesy. My friends and family members know that I do not curse. And there are two words that I loathe above all others! You guessed it, telling God to damn something/someone and the "F bomb." Now, I admit to having used the "F bomb" several hundred thousand times, meself, but I no longer use that language and I ask those with whom I have any type of relationship not to use those words in my presence. It's a pretty simple request. And, I will make allowances for the occasional "slip" of the tongue, but eventually I will begin pointing out when those words are used that I don't care for them, and will again repeat my request that they not use those words around me; politely, of course.

There comes a time, however, when the continued use of that type of language is simply a matter of not showing respect or behaving with common courtesy. Stating, "forgive my French" before using the words simply does not count as acting respectful of my wishes, but rather it comes across to me as you saying, 'I know you don't care for this language, and I know you've asked me repeatedly to not speak this way when I'm talking to you, but I really don't care what you like or dislike and I'll talk the way I please.'

Some will say I'm rude because I have reached a point with several people that I will hang up if I'm on the phone with them and they use the "f bomb" or I will simply stop conversing if I'm in a vehicle or at their home or out about town. But I don't feel I am being rude as I have extended chance after chance of repeating the request and overlooking their indifference to my feelings. I am not judging anyone for using that type of language. I am no one's judge! I simply choose to not have conversations in which that type of language is used. I will not apologize for disliking those words; I will not compromise my values and standards by pretending not to notice when that language comes into a conversation and I refuse to stand by silently while I am being disrespected and treated so rudely. I don't treat others that way and I don't feel that I should be treated that way.

I offer respect, courtesy and many other great qualities to those whom I choose to engage in a relationship, whether it is friendship, courtship, romance, business, commerce or merely a fleeting moment where two strangers pass on the street, barely noticing the other is there. Each and every person on the planet deserves my respect and my courtesy until they prove to me that they don't deserve or appreciate it.

Some may say I'm boorish or being too rigid, but I have put up with things I dislike for many years before finally putting my foot down and saying, "enough is enough," and demanding that my request be considered and either granted or rejected. We all not only deserve it, we all demand it, to various degrees.