Just kidding No Excuse For Rude & Derogatory Behavior

We hear, and read, it all the time: someone makes mean-spirited, derogatory or rude comments, then when called on it, they say, "Oh, I was just joking/kidding." WRONG! Anytime someone uses disparaging comments on a regular basis, there's something more going on than just joking; deep inside they are either jealous, envious or truly hateful toward those people they direct those jokes to. Even the Bible forewarned us about someone who says, "just kidding" after making those type statements in Proverbs 26:18-19: "Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, 'I was only joking!'"

I know in my own life, I've had relatives who consistently made negative, derogatory remarks to or about me, then when I called them on it, they tried to back peddle by claiming they were only joking. Joking or not, those kinds of repeated comments sting and hurt. And I've seen others who have done the same to others, and when I've mentioned it to them, they claim their target knows they're only joking, and they don't mean all the mean, negative and hurtful things they say. I call that hogwash! When you love someone, whether a family member, spouse or friend, you do not say those types of things on a regular basis. Every now and again, it's just good fun to slightly disparage someone in humor, but to do so on a regular, almost daily basis is not good clean fun, it's an indication of a much deeper seated resentment or jealousy on the part of the one making those statements.

As a brother to a large number of brothers and sisters, I can tell you I have jokingly said things about/to them that if someone didn't know we were siblings, they would think I hated them. But I've only made those statements on rare occasions, and always in the midst of a humor filled visit. And I always let them know on those rare occasions that it was intended as a joke, and that I don't feel that way about them. Of course, because I'm constantly offering positive comments about them, they know when I do make the rare joke that it is just that.

From the tongue comes the truth of the heart. If someone is consistently saying things that are disparaging, defeatist, ugly, rude or derogatory about someone else, it's best to look deeper into their heart to find out why it is they feel the need to make such statements, because those constant barbs of negativity do not come from a spirit of love.