Thursday, December 25, 2025

Family

With the passing of my father just before Christmas, I've been thinking about family, and the importance of family. Mine is fractured due to the decisions and actions of my father. Even my relationships with my older brother and sister by my Mom have been affected by my father's actions. He had 6 children through 3 marriages and there's fractured relationships between all 6. Two sisters from his first marriage have a good relationship, but neither of those daughters have close relationships with his 3 sons from marriages 2 and 3. And the two sons from second marriage don't have a relationship with one another, nor do they with the son from the third.

My father was one of eight children between his parents. Oldest of his father's five, number four of his mother's eight. Even amongst those 8, there were fractured relationships. My father didn't have a good relationship with any of this siblings, only with his youngest sister did he even truly have a relationship. And amongst the others there was also fractured relationships. Yet, my Dad's parents had good relationships with all of their siblings. So, what went wrong in Dad's generation that carried down into mine?

Alcohol was the biggest fracturing agent in Dad's generation. Three of my grandfather's five children had problems with alcohol. Four of my grandmother's eight had problems with alcohol. In my generation, drugs were added to the mix. Of my 23 cousins, drugs or alcohol, or both, have affected at least 5. Of course the effects of one acoholic/addict will affect every person in that family unit, but only 5 were active users of drugs or alcohol. There were other factors involved, as well. Abandonment of children, kidnapping of children and putting too much responsibility on children too young to deal with that responsibility emotionally.

I have always felt the fractured nature of my family more at Christmas than other times of the year because all around me everyone is talking about spending time with the families and I have no family to really spend the holidays with. I would love to spend time with all my family but there are those in my family who don't want to spend time with one another. They have their holidays with others but not with our family. A lot of people have told me that I should create a family of chosen people, and I have, but it's not the same. My heart, my soul, still aches for that connection to those who share my DNA. Those I spent the holidays with as a child. Aunts, uncles, cousins who have known me since birth, or least age 4. But those family members don't want to. So, I generally spend the Day alone. Me and my dogs and cat. Sitting home, alone, celebrating the birth, and life, of Jesus, my King.

This year, especially, it seems harder. Gone are the holidays with my Godchildren. My father's passing just 6 days before Christmas Day also deepens the feeling that it's just not a lot like Christmas, this year. Maybe next year will be better.

Wednesday, December 24, 2025

Candace Owens

So now the far right is throwing stones at Candace Owens, claiming she's gone too far, this time. Let me remind those who are shocked and perplexed that Candace Owens did not change overnight while you were asleep in your bed. She is still who she was when you loved and admired her, she just chose a topic that you don't want to her to get involved in, so now you're dropping her like a hot potato and claiming she's gone too far. She had always gone too far, you just didn't notice it because you went too far with her on numerous subjects.

Now, I'm aware that the above statements will bring hate my way, and that's okay. You can scream insults at me, hate me, even throw stones at me, all while claiming you are a good Christian and a devout Republican. But, not only do you and I know that you're not behaving like God wants us to behave, but He's seeing it, too. And trust me, displeasing Him is far worse than you think you're hurting me.

God told us to love one another like we love Him. I don't see any of y'all throwing stones at God. If you wouldn't do it to Him, you shouldn't be doing it to anyone! Love is an action, but it's an action of help, aid, support, encouragement, providing and walking with someone when they're in need or in trouble. Love is not angry words, insults, threats and physical altercations. You cannot tell me you love someone when you're calling them horrible names, saying things like they should be beat up, jailed or killed. That's not love! And you know it!!!!

Monday, September 1, 2025

The Death of Jesus

Many people, today, say that the Romans murdered Jesus. Many say the Jews murdered Him. Even Peter and Paul said the Jews killed Jesus. But, I'm always left with this question when I hear anyone blaming the Jews or Romans of murdering Jesus: is it possible to murder the Son of God, aka God Incarnate?

Now, I am aware of the circumstances and events and players in the crucifixion of Jesus. The Sanhedrin were actively involved in trying to kill Jesus. In fact, there were several instances where the mob of Jews tried to kill Him, but He always escaped. And, I am aware that it was Roman soldiers who actually nailed Him to the cross. Pilate was reluctant to put Jesus on the cross, having said to the people gathered when Jesus was brought before Pilate: "I find no fault in this Man."

But, my point is that even though there was a conspiracy to murder Jesus and even though the Romans nailed Him to the cross, did they really kill God Incarnate? Did they have the power to kill the Son of God? I don't think they did. The Bible tells us, in John 19:30, "When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, He said, "it is finished: and He bowed His head, and gave up the ghost." It surprised the Romans when they went to break His legs so that He would die to find that He was already dead. Why? Because Jesus had not hung on the cross long enough to die from the effects of the cross and the beatings. Death on the cross took days, not hours. Jesus was only on the cross a few hours.

I also have to think about the fact that Jesus' death was prophecied many, many years before He was born. And we all know that Jesus was born to die and be resurrected because that was the only way to pardon the sins of all mankind and offer eternal life to us. Without His death and His resurrection, we would have no hope of salvation. So, was He really murdered?

I don't believe He was murdered. Murder involves killing someone, taking their life from them. Jesus gave up the ghost, willingly and at a time of His determining. While there was a conspiracy and there was a crucifixion, Jesus, Himself, appointed the time that He would die. He had accomplished what He came for: to be the blood sacrifice for the sins of mankind. When He had done that, He declared "it is finished," and He voluntarily released His spirit from His body. After all, He is God Incarnate, the Son of God and held the power of life and death in His hands. He raised Lazarus from the dead to prove that He held the power of life and death.

I hold that my Lord and Savior, the King of all kings, Emmanuel, Son of God voluntarily gave His life for the remission of my sins. And He rose again to give me eternal life with Him in Heaven. If I allow that He was murdered then I have to say that He did not give up His life willingly, therefore there would be no eternal remission of sin. He would have been just like other sacrifices where the victim did not die willingly and sins would have only been forgiven up to the point of the sacrifice. Any sins committed after the sacrifice would need to have another blood sacrifice to cover those sins.

So, even though murder was the intent of the Sanhedrin, the chief priest and even the Roman soldiers. They did not have the power to kill the Son of God. Only Jesus had the power to give up His life. He died willingly because He loved the world so much that He wanted the world to know there was eternal salvation available to have a true, lasting, honest relationship with Almighty God. And I'm so grateful that He did.

Saturday, August 30, 2025

The Miracle of Me

When I say that I am a walking, talking, living, breathing miracle, I see people's eyes glaze over. They don't understand that I am speaking as literally and as honestly as I can. I've watched as doctors have stammered and tried to figure out a way to get past the miraculous part of my still being alive and walking. I have had people tell me that according to the laws of physics and gravity I should be dead. Yet, here I am. Walking, talking, living, breathing. A miracle! Direct from the Hand of God.

I can't tell you all the times God has saved my life. I probably am only aware of a tenth of the times He has miraculously saved my life. But, I will try to tell you about all the ones I do know about. And I know, the amount of times it has happened also makes people wonder if I'm embellishing or making up some of these instances, and I promise you, each and every one of them happened. I can only tell you my perspective of what happened, but I'll be as open with you as I can. These are the times that I should have died as well as the events that should have put me in a wheelchair or into a vegetative state. At least to the best of my knowledge, these are all of the ones I remember or know about.

Somewhere between the ages of 2 and 4 my siblings, Mark, Renee and Darren were playing in a tree house and I wanted to play with them. I climbed the ladder, despite my Mama having forbade me from being in the tree house. As I got to the floor of the tree house I grabbed a piece of lumber to pull myself up with, just as Mark and Renee yelled to not grab that one, and it broke due to being rotted and I fell to the ground. I was unconscious when Mama arrived after Mark ran in the house to get her. I fell more than 15 feet and landed on my head. The joke is that's what happened to me as far as the way I am today, but that seriously should have killed me.

When I was five we were on our way to 6 Flags in Texas when the car broke down. We stayed in a motel while the car was being repaired. It was my step-mother, my brother, step-mother's best friend and her sister and brothers. We were at the pool. I don't remember who all was in the pool other than my brother and I but something happened and I drowned. Not almost drowned, drowned. Thankfully, Carol, Bonnie's best friend saw me, pulled me out and performed CPR and I revived.

When I was six or seven we had visited my grandparents and were on our way home. The back passenger door of the station wagon we had popped open and I began to fall out of the car since I had been leaning on the door. Bonnie was able to grab just my hand and pull me back into the car. To this day I hate 2 door cars and for as long as I can remember Bonnie never owned another 4 door car until the late 2000s.

At the age of 17 my father almost beat me to death. The only thing that stopped him was 4 angels standing outside the car. I did not see them, but he did. And he stopped beating me and left the location we were in rather quickly.

At the age of 20 I was driving home through the mountains of New Mexico when I struck a deer at 2 AM. I locked the brakes and my car headed for a 1,000 foot drop off. I cried out the name of Jesus and my car turned 45° to the left. State trooper said he had never seen the marks from braking tires turn like that before. He probably hasn't seen it since, either.

At 24 I was hit head-on while riding a motorcycle. I cried out the name Jesus and was lifted off the motorcylce by an angel, as witnessed by multiple people in the cars behind me. Two separate accident reconstruction teams deemed there was no way I came off the motorcycle according to the laws of physics and gravity.

At 30 I was locked in a cooler during a robbery of the convenience store I was working in and the robber put the pistol directly in front of my face and pulled the trigger. The gun jammed. I never worked in a convenience store again.

At 40, during a surgery performed after I had been suffering a spinal fluid leak for 3 days, an artery was cut accidentally and I lost half my body's blood volume. I later died. God sent me back even though I tried to argue with Him that I didn't want to come back.

During a surgery in 2010, a scalpel that had not been thoroughly sanitized was used that had 5 bacteria on it. Those bacteria got into my spinal cord and I suffered with that infection for 16 months before it was discovered to be an infection. One of those bacteria is one that was used by Saddam Hussein's head of biological warfare. Another should have killed me within 9 months of infection. I'm still here.

In 2012 I suffered severe opioid induced constipation. I didn't have a bowel movement for over 3 weeks. The toxins in my body were causing me to black out. I blacked out several times while driving my car. I was almost to the point of falling into a coma when my body finally began to get rid of the source of the toxins.

In 2017 I was again involved in a head-on collision, though this time I was driving a Dakota pickup instead of riding a motorcycle.

This does not include all the times I've had pneumonia and came close to death. Or when I suffered with whooping cough, asthma, chicken pox and possibly another childhood disease at the same time at the age of 4. But these are the events that I remember the most and the best. As for the walking part of me being a miracle, that 1987 motorcycle accident led to a condition known as arachnoiditis which is known to put patients in a wheelchair within 6 months to a year. I've had it for at least 25 years and I'm still walking.

Now, I'm not telling you all this to brag or to show how strong I am and I'm definitely not trying to say how lucky I am because I don't believe in luck. Each of these times God miraculously saved my life and has continued to miraculously keep me on my feet. I don't have an explanation as to why. I don't ask why. I ask why not. I'm not anything special in this world. Not even close. I'm not anything special in the Body of Christ beyond the specialness of each and every one of the members of the Body of Christ. Maybe it's my faith. Maybe it's my calling. I don't know. I do know that I'm so very grateful for everything God has done for me. And I know there are probably thousands of other times He has moved on my behalf that I have no clue about. I'm grateful for those, too.

What I do know is this: if it weren't for God I wouldn't be alive. If it weren't for God I wouldn't be standing. If it weren't for God I wouldn't be writing this blog post. And if it weren't for God you wouldn't be reading it.

Wake up. Pray up. Stand up. Be a candle, not a wildfire.

Thursday, August 14, 2025

Always In A Hurry

I catch myself, sometimes, being in a hurry even when I don't have to be. Speeding when I'm not late for an appointment. Rushing even when I'm just playing a game of solitaire on the computer. I have to consciously make myself slow down and relax. Why are we so geared for always being in a hurry? Ever noticed when you're driving down the road and you're whipping in and out trying to get in front of the car ahead of you that when you get to the stop light that car is sitting right beside you. You ain't gained any advantage.

Of course being in a hurry means I'm also normally tensed up. Every muscle in my neck and shoulders are tight as a steel band. I have to constantly force myself to relax and allow those muscles to release the tension. Boy, does it ever feel great when I do that! But, I'll find myself all tensed up again in a few minutes, rushing through trying to get something done when there is no time limit on when it has to be finished. We've become a world in a hurry. For what? Getting something done in a hurry doesn't accomplish anything other than making mistakes that we have to go back and fix which means it's taking us longer to finish that project than it would have taken if we had slowed down, relaxed and paid more attention while doing it. We're only making ourselves finish things later than needed by being in a hurry to get them done.

We live in a world where we expect everything to be instant. We get upset and complain if we get to the drive through window and our food isn't immediately passed out the window. Geez, they had the 23 seconds from the time we finished placing our order and drove to the window, so why isn't our food ready? We decide to watch a movie and we complain because it takes 10 seconds for the movie to buffer before we can hit play. We put a bag of popcorn in the microwave and complain that it takes 3 minutes to be ready. It should be ready as soon as we push the button. We complain about sitting in traffic even though we arrive at our destination 10 minutes before our appointment. Of course that's only because we were driving 14 miles above the posted speed limit to get there.

We've become an impatient people. We want what we want 30 minutes BEFORE we want it. Maybe that's why God put "wait upon the Lord," in the Bible so many times. Not for those who wrote it but for us, today. Because we don't like waiting. We don't want to be patient. We want instant gratification. Instant results. Instant food. Instant entertainment.

Set a timer for 15 minutes. Sit back, relax and do nothing. Don't look at the timer to see how much time has passed or how much time is left. Just sit, relax, take in the world around you. Force your body to relax. Force your mind to be quiet. Do nothing but sit and enjoy the peace and quiet until the timer tells you 15 minutes is done. You will be amazed at how good you feel. How much easier things will progress through your day. Just 15 minutes. Give it a try for a week or two and let me know the results.

Monday, August 11, 2025

Money is Not the Root of All Evil

I keep hearing people say, "money is the root of all evil," and it's not. The LOVE of money is the root of all evil, according to Jesus. Money is not a good or a bad thing. It's a necessary thing, but it's when we start to love money that we can allow that to influence us and lead us away from the life God wants for us. God is not anti-money. But, when we begin to want money to the point that we aren't helping our brothers and sisters and we're stockpiling 7 or 8 or more figure bank accounts and having stock portfolios that are worth more than the average home, that's when we run into a problem. And step outside God's will and plan for us.

I have been accused of being anti-wealth, and I'm not. I believe money is a great thing when it is used in the right way. It's the hoarding and the treasure hiding aspect of money that I have a problem with. I'm not advocating that people cannot have bank accounts or stock portfolios, but I am saying that if you are amassing a huge amount of wealth and you are not helping those who are in need that you are not following God's plan or doing His will. God gives us blessings so that we can pour them out on others. In fact, it's really rare for God to just miraculously lay a huge blessing in your lap. It generally comes from someone else, or a few others. And we are supposed to share our blessings with those around us who are not doing as well as we are.

Nowhere and no time have I ever said that a Believer has to surrender all his possessions and give to others. Because I do believe money can be a usefull tool in getting the Good News out there to those who need to hear it. But when we have so much more than we need and we're walking past people who are hungry, homeless and helpless, we have a spiritual problem. Not a money problem.

Earn good salaries, plan for your future, but also help those who are in need of help. That's why we're here. To help others. To bring others into the kingdom of God. To show them that Jesus is the answer they've been seeking. Be a good, faithful steward. And I pray God blesses your feet right out of your socks today!

Thursday, August 7, 2025

Your Source

There are more than 70 verses in the Bible that prove that God is to be our source. Whatever we are in need of, God is our source. Now, let me pose an hypothetical question to you. Let's say that you have a bank account with a 6 figure balance; that means your account contains at least $100,000. One day your car breaks down and needs to be repaired. Who is your source. Who, or what, do you think of when presented with the bill to cover the cost to repair or replace your car? Is your immediate action to pray and ask God to provide or do you simply pull our your debit card and pay the bill without even thinking twice?

How you answer that question is important; if you answer with the first solution, then God is your source. If you answer with the second, your wealth is your source. Yes, God may have blessed you with that wealth in the first place, but we are supposed to rely on God for EVERYTHING. Which means when we are in need we should immediately turn to God to meet that need. When you have stockpiles of cash in bank accounts and portfolios, you are no longer relying on God to be your source. Your stockpile actually appears to prove that you don't believe God can provide all your need so you're stockpiling the cash to cover your needs when they arise.

Jesus told the man who asked what he had to do to be saved and Jesus' answer was: "Keep the commandments. Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not bear false witness, honor your father and mother, love your neighbor as yourself, sell all that you have, give it to the poor and you'll have treasure in heaven and follow Me."

Why would Jesus say that? Because as Believers we are supposed to surrender everything to God and rely on Him for our every need. Jesus gave so many examples in the Bible about how much God cares for us and how He will take care of us, provide for us and keep us. Not only spiritually, but physically. When we have large bank accounts and portfolios we are not relying on God to meet our need. We're saying that we don't believe God can meet our need so we're stockpiling treasure in order to make sure we're comfortable and taken care of. But, there's also this point: God blessed us with what we've hoarded, but why did He bless us with it? When He, Himself, told us not to store up riches in this life, why did He give that to us? Because He wants us to use it to help the poor. To feed the hungry, give water to the thirsty, clothe the naked, shelter the homeless, visit the sick and incarcerated, visit and care for the widows and orphans. That's our core calling. That's our core mission.

I challenge anyone who has millions in the bank or in portfolios to think about who they are relying on as their source. Because, trust me, it's not God when you have stockpiled that kind of wealth. And if your first thought when someone says give it all away is one of self preservation, you've just proved to yourself that God is not your source. If even 10% of those in the Body of Christ would take their stored up earthly treasure and give it to the poor we could end hunger in this nation.

Wake up. Pray up. Stand up. Be a candle, not a wildfire.