I didn't have a traditional upbringing; the kind where a child is raised by his or her parents from birth to majority. Today's traditional upbringing usually means a child raised by either their mother, alone, or a mother and step-father, but I didn't have that one, either. My parents divorced on my 2nd birthday. My father took me from my mother a month after my 4th birthday. My step-mother left me and my brother a month after my 13th birthday (exactly 9 years to the day after she and my dad took us from our mother.)
That's when any semblance of a traditional upbringing ended for me. Between the time of my 13th birthday and the day I turned 18 I moved some 19 times living with different relatives or family friends. I lived with my father's sister and her husband, my grandparents and my father's girlfriend. Despite begging my mother to rescue me from the physical abuse I was suffering at the hands of my father, she never allowed me to live with her.
When I read people's comments on social media about their moms or dads and how much they loved them despite the challenges they faced, I feel a sense of jealousy or envy because I don't know what that feels like. Yes, I know what it feels like to love your parents, but to know the hardships they struggled through while their parents continued to maintain a home for them, that part I do not know. I don't know the sense of being loved by my parents so much that they sacrificed in order to provide a home for me, to keep me fed and clothed. Those are the things I envy in the lives of my cousins, friends and perfect strangers when they post on Facebook or Twitter.
When I mention to people that I had 5 brothers and 5 sisters, they automatically comment on the closeness of large families, because that's the norm most people are aware of. They don't know many families like mine where the majority of my brothers and sisters aren't related to one another; where my father had 6 legitimate children with 3 different wives, where 4 of those children were raised by their mothers while two were raised by other relatives. Or my mother's 2 children from her first marriage being raised by she and their step-father while her 2 youngest children from her 2nd marriage were raised by an aunt or a succession of relatives/friends. People just don't understand that type of childhood.
Yes, I have a unique view of family because I have 3 sides to my family that I love and cherish: my mother's, my father's and my step-mother's. And I count my "foster" mom's immediate family as well though she was my Dad's girlfriend and never legally related to me.
My experience makes me love and cherish the idea of family to the nth degree though I've never truly experienced that type of family myself. People say you can't miss what you never had; those people are wrong.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Intelligence, Smarts, Confidence and Arrogance
Not to sound arrogant, but I have been told by many people that I am intelligent and/or smart, and I've had several people who told me I was intelligent and/or smart that I am arrogant about it; a few of those people have said I'm a "show off". Though I occasionally agree with being intelligent and sometimes agree I'm smart, I never intend to be arrogant or a show off regarding what intelligence or smarts I may have. I am a reader, and as such I have come across information on a variety of subjects giving me what others view as intelligence/smarts.
I know a little about a lot. I know a lot about a little. I do not know a lot about a lot nor do I by any means possess all there is to know about anything; there are many subjects I know absolutely nothing about. That being said, there are times in conversation with people when subjects will come up that I have some basic information on and I will join in the conversation. When I am wrong or when I do not know something, I am not hesitant to admit to that fact.
Having some knowledge on a variety of topics, or possessing information on a myriad of issues should be considered a good thing, not viewed as arrogance or an attempt to portray oneself as better than anyone. I think the more one can know about a variety of subjects makes that person more well-rounded and interesting. I would rather converse with someone who has a little knowledge in a great many different areas than to converse with someone who only knows a lot of information on a limited number of topics. And I enjoy learning new information from others, not only on the topics I know something about but also on topics where I have little to no knowledge.
Learning is one of my greatest desires.
I know a little about a lot. I know a lot about a little. I do not know a lot about a lot nor do I by any means possess all there is to know about anything; there are many subjects I know absolutely nothing about. That being said, there are times in conversation with people when subjects will come up that I have some basic information on and I will join in the conversation. When I am wrong or when I do not know something, I am not hesitant to admit to that fact.
Having some knowledge on a variety of topics, or possessing information on a myriad of issues should be considered a good thing, not viewed as arrogance or an attempt to portray oneself as better than anyone. I think the more one can know about a variety of subjects makes that person more well-rounded and interesting. I would rather converse with someone who has a little knowledge in a great many different areas than to converse with someone who only knows a lot of information on a limited number of topics. And I enjoy learning new information from others, not only on the topics I know something about but also on topics where I have little to no knowledge.
Learning is one of my greatest desires.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
The Faith Required To Believe Science
First science said that in the beginning there was nothing, then nothing suddenly exploded and the entire universe was created in a fraction of a second; every single atom, molecule, etc. was created in that flash of an explosion. Now science says there was something, the "remnant" left over from a previous universe that collapsed on itself into something that was so tiny it would have been undetectable, and that miniscule piece somehow spontaneously combusted creating everything there is in the vast universe. But, they cannot explain where the original universe which imploded and then exploded again (they claim this has happened innumerable times over incalculable times) came from. Just as they can't explain how nothing, from the original "theory" exploded, or what prompted the explosion or what that something was that caused it, since there was nothing which means there would be nothing that would ignite nothing into an explosion.
Of course, they discount the notion that God created everything by asking the question where did God come from? DUH! How can they easily accept that nothing exploded to create everything but they can't get past the question of where God came from? Talk about double-standards and ignoring their own stupidity.
Then, after using that convoluted, contradictory and illogical premise of how the universe came into being, they claim that on the primordial Earth, certain chemicals and elements somehow came together and spontaneously sparked into life. Or they hypothesize that a bolt of lightning just happened to strike a spot in the ooze, or soup as they call it, causing those chemicals and elements to erupt into life. and from that single instance of life spontaneously erupting, every single living thing we know about came in time due to evolution. Last I checked a dog gives birth to another dog, not a cat or a human being, but I'm just a normal person with no scientific training, so what do I know?
I mean, seriously, think about it. There was nothing and that nothing exploded, sparked by nothing, and from that Big Bang came the universe. In that brand new creation, happenstance allowed certain things to combine together creating stars and planets. And on the planet we know as Earth, a mixture of chemicals and elements just happened to come together in the exact right combination and without any intelligence behind it, it erupted into a single cell, which somehow knew it had to split to propagate itself because it would eventually die, and from the lineage of those single cells, multi-cell organisms came into being which then mutated and created other multi-cell organisms and from that more than several billion different living organisms that are vastly different from one another came into being. Of course, there's no explanation on how that first single cell organism "knew" that it would die so therefore it needed to propagate itself.
And they claim my faith in a Creator requires me to suspend belief, logic and sanity?
Nothing and nothing still equals nothing. And what could cause nothing to explode into something? I have yet to be shown an example of an explosion creating anything. To believe that an explosion (whether it was nothing exploding or something exploding) created the universe would be akin to believing that an explosion happened in Detroit and a Cadillac rolled out. If that's the case, I'm going out to the yard and setting off an explosion so a new Ford Mustang GT Convertible will be sitting in my driveway.
Yes, I know I'm over-simplifying it, but apparently that's what is needed in order to get these super intelligent people to understand how ludicrous is the idea that nothing was set into explosion by another nothing creating everything.
It requires so much more "faith" to believe the scientific "theory" of creation than it does to believe that Almighty God created the universe and formed man in His own image, breathing life into that mix of clay. Which is why science is correct in saying that each and every human body is made of the atoms that make up the earth and the stars. We were created out of the materials on the planet, therefore we share the elements, chemicals and components that make up our home world.
As for the "Big Bang", I do believe in it. When my God speaks, I am certain that there is a huge sound that reverberates throughout the universe!
Of course, they discount the notion that God created everything by asking the question where did God come from? DUH! How can they easily accept that nothing exploded to create everything but they can't get past the question of where God came from? Talk about double-standards and ignoring their own stupidity.
Then, after using that convoluted, contradictory and illogical premise of how the universe came into being, they claim that on the primordial Earth, certain chemicals and elements somehow came together and spontaneously sparked into life. Or they hypothesize that a bolt of lightning just happened to strike a spot in the ooze, or soup as they call it, causing those chemicals and elements to erupt into life. and from that single instance of life spontaneously erupting, every single living thing we know about came in time due to evolution. Last I checked a dog gives birth to another dog, not a cat or a human being, but I'm just a normal person with no scientific training, so what do I know?
I mean, seriously, think about it. There was nothing and that nothing exploded, sparked by nothing, and from that Big Bang came the universe. In that brand new creation, happenstance allowed certain things to combine together creating stars and planets. And on the planet we know as Earth, a mixture of chemicals and elements just happened to come together in the exact right combination and without any intelligence behind it, it erupted into a single cell, which somehow knew it had to split to propagate itself because it would eventually die, and from the lineage of those single cells, multi-cell organisms came into being which then mutated and created other multi-cell organisms and from that more than several billion different living organisms that are vastly different from one another came into being. Of course, there's no explanation on how that first single cell organism "knew" that it would die so therefore it needed to propagate itself.
And they claim my faith in a Creator requires me to suspend belief, logic and sanity?
Nothing and nothing still equals nothing. And what could cause nothing to explode into something? I have yet to be shown an example of an explosion creating anything. To believe that an explosion (whether it was nothing exploding or something exploding) created the universe would be akin to believing that an explosion happened in Detroit and a Cadillac rolled out. If that's the case, I'm going out to the yard and setting off an explosion so a new Ford Mustang GT Convertible will be sitting in my driveway.
Yes, I know I'm over-simplifying it, but apparently that's what is needed in order to get these super intelligent people to understand how ludicrous is the idea that nothing was set into explosion by another nothing creating everything.
It requires so much more "faith" to believe the scientific "theory" of creation than it does to believe that Almighty God created the universe and formed man in His own image, breathing life into that mix of clay. Which is why science is correct in saying that each and every human body is made of the atoms that make up the earth and the stars. We were created out of the materials on the planet, therefore we share the elements, chemicals and components that make up our home world.
As for the "Big Bang", I do believe in it. When my God speaks, I am certain that there is a huge sound that reverberates throughout the universe!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
What Others Say About People, Even Family Members
I wish I could say it surprises me what people say about one another, especially family members, behind their backs. I want to be outraged at how someone could tell another person things about someone that disparages the person being talked about or maligns their character without the object of conversation being able to defend themselves. I would love to be able to shake my head in disbelief that that same person, when face to face with the person being denigrated, acts as if they would never speak ill of them to another person, or as if they have no problems with them. Sadly, I'm not surprised, outraged, disbelieving. And mostly, I wish I could say that only non-Christians do this type of thing.
I also wish that people would look a the relationship that exists between the speaker and the person being spoken about before absorbing what the speaker is saying and taking on that same attitude, especially if the speaker and subject are related; and it's even more important to do so the closer the familial ties are between them.
For example, look at other relationships the speaker has; do they have other relationships which maybe aren't what you would expect them to have with a person related or affiliated with them the way they are? And, does the speaker generally tend to speak in negative terms about others? Or do they act a different way when their subject is present? Does it seem at all strange to you that the speaker would speak of a person related to them in that manner?
I do have a purpose for writing this blog on this subject: first-hand experience of being talked about by relatives with other relatives or family friends which has caused problems in the relationships or possible relationships with those other family or friends because the others took to heart what the family member was saying about me, without giving me the benefit to either explain or defend myself. And, for the most part, this has been done with family members with whom I've strained relationships with.
The main family members who have done this are ones with whom I've generally had little contact with for many years, yet they speak about me as if they know me quite well, when the fact is, they know very little about me. Maybe at some point in the past they had closer contact with me, but for a variety of reasons we are no longer either physically or relationally close. Yet, they speak to others very authoritatively as if they know me quite deeply. And, while some of what they say about me might be partially true, the ironic fact is it's true because of the strained or dysfunctional relationship I've had with them.
Let me set the record straight, once and for all: yes, I'm weird to many of my family members. I have been a needy person who required much attention. I have often tried to get members of my family to "prove" their love for me or to show me in some way that I was important and mattered to them. Most of those character traits came about because of the circumstances of my youth. I'm not trying to cop-out, here; I am responsible for my own actions, today. Have been for many, many years, however, it is impossible to not have been effected and affected by the things that happened in my youth. Each and every one of us is the sum of all our previous experiences. Had one experience not happened, or happened differently, we would not be exactly who we are today.
I don't do everything the same way everyone else does. I do things the way i think, at the time, is best for me. I'm not perfect; I make mistakes and fall short of what is expected of me on a regular basis. I don't always do what I know I should and sometimes I do things I know I shouldn't. Who among us can say they don't behave in exactly that same fashion? Truly! Even the Apostle Paul wrote that he didn't do the things he knew he should and did the things he knew he shouldn't! Now, I'm not trying to compare myself to an Apostle, I'm just saying that each and every one of us is human...
So, from this day forward, let each and every person in your life be who they are; don't judge them based upon someone else's opinion or judgment and remember that every other person on this planet is struggling to walk the walk just like you are. No one is going to get it right all the time and some people may get it wrong more often than others. But, look at the heart of the person and see if they are truly trying or if they're just trying to "get away" with not really trying. And, through it all, look at them the way Jesus looks at you: with eyes of grace, mercy and love!
I also wish that people would look a the relationship that exists between the speaker and the person being spoken about before absorbing what the speaker is saying and taking on that same attitude, especially if the speaker and subject are related; and it's even more important to do so the closer the familial ties are between them.
For example, look at other relationships the speaker has; do they have other relationships which maybe aren't what you would expect them to have with a person related or affiliated with them the way they are? And, does the speaker generally tend to speak in negative terms about others? Or do they act a different way when their subject is present? Does it seem at all strange to you that the speaker would speak of a person related to them in that manner?
I do have a purpose for writing this blog on this subject: first-hand experience of being talked about by relatives with other relatives or family friends which has caused problems in the relationships or possible relationships with those other family or friends because the others took to heart what the family member was saying about me, without giving me the benefit to either explain or defend myself. And, for the most part, this has been done with family members with whom I've strained relationships with.
The main family members who have done this are ones with whom I've generally had little contact with for many years, yet they speak about me as if they know me quite well, when the fact is, they know very little about me. Maybe at some point in the past they had closer contact with me, but for a variety of reasons we are no longer either physically or relationally close. Yet, they speak to others very authoritatively as if they know me quite deeply. And, while some of what they say about me might be partially true, the ironic fact is it's true because of the strained or dysfunctional relationship I've had with them.
Let me set the record straight, once and for all: yes, I'm weird to many of my family members. I have been a needy person who required much attention. I have often tried to get members of my family to "prove" their love for me or to show me in some way that I was important and mattered to them. Most of those character traits came about because of the circumstances of my youth. I'm not trying to cop-out, here; I am responsible for my own actions, today. Have been for many, many years, however, it is impossible to not have been effected and affected by the things that happened in my youth. Each and every one of us is the sum of all our previous experiences. Had one experience not happened, or happened differently, we would not be exactly who we are today.
I don't do everything the same way everyone else does. I do things the way i think, at the time, is best for me. I'm not perfect; I make mistakes and fall short of what is expected of me on a regular basis. I don't always do what I know I should and sometimes I do things I know I shouldn't. Who among us can say they don't behave in exactly that same fashion? Truly! Even the Apostle Paul wrote that he didn't do the things he knew he should and did the things he knew he shouldn't! Now, I'm not trying to compare myself to an Apostle, I'm just saying that each and every one of us is human...
So, from this day forward, let each and every person in your life be who they are; don't judge them based upon someone else's opinion or judgment and remember that every other person on this planet is struggling to walk the walk just like you are. No one is going to get it right all the time and some people may get it wrong more often than others. But, look at the heart of the person and see if they are truly trying or if they're just trying to "get away" with not really trying. And, through it all, look at them the way Jesus looks at you: with eyes of grace, mercy and love!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Marriage in the US
I've not spoken out on this issue before, but something is compelling me to do so, now. I keep hearing about these laws to prevent certain individuals from marrying, based on Biblical principles. Let's look at the Biblical teaching regarding marriage.
First, Jesus told us that if anyone is divorced and remarries then not only is the person who is divorced committing adultery, they are causing their new spouse, if they've never been married or are widowed/widowered, to commit adultery as well. So, following the logic present above, all marriages where a person is divorced should be outlawed. No one who is divorced should be able to get a marriage license within the United States.
Second, atheists don't believe in God. Following the same logic as above, someone must first profess their belief in the Christian Bible and belief system before they are issued a marriage license.
Of course, that also means no one who is Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim or any other religion would be issued a marriage license in the United States.
Now, let's look at something. Passing laws regulating marriage according to Biblical principles takes us right back to the Law of Moses. It's a very slippery slope. Are the laws of the United States based on the Law of Moses? Some are, yes. But, Jesus came to live and die so that we would no longer be subjected to the law. Why, then, are we trying to re-establish the law to govern the moral character of anyone?
Our focus is not supposed to be on the things of this world; we are told by Christ and the apostles that we are to dwell on heavenly things. The everlasting eternity is where we are to concentrate. We're also told we are not to meddle in the lives of those around us, we are to work specifically on our own relationship with Christ. Now, many will say that we are responsible to spread the Word, and while that is true, forcing anyone to live according to Biblical principles doesn't convert them to Christianity. In fact, forcing your beliefs on someone tends to have the opposite outcome from the one you're desiring.
God doesn't force Himself on us: we have free will to accept Him or not. Why are we, then, trying to force anyone to live according to our interpretation of God's will. Most of us struggle to know God's complete will for us as individuals, so how can we then determine His will for someone else?
We're becoming the Sanhedrin, Pharisees and Sadducees that worked so hard against Jesus, Himself and oppressed the Jewish people in the first century. Is that what God wants of us? I highly doubt it.
Let's stop trying to remove the speck from someone else's eye and start working on removing the plank from our own. Let God deal with those who are not living according to His will; all we are required to do is present the truth and light to them, not force them to live according to that truth or in that light.
First, Jesus told us that if anyone is divorced and remarries then not only is the person who is divorced committing adultery, they are causing their new spouse, if they've never been married or are widowed/widowered, to commit adultery as well. So, following the logic present above, all marriages where a person is divorced should be outlawed. No one who is divorced should be able to get a marriage license within the United States.
Second, atheists don't believe in God. Following the same logic as above, someone must first profess their belief in the Christian Bible and belief system before they are issued a marriage license.
Of course, that also means no one who is Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim or any other religion would be issued a marriage license in the United States.
Now, let's look at something. Passing laws regulating marriage according to Biblical principles takes us right back to the Law of Moses. It's a very slippery slope. Are the laws of the United States based on the Law of Moses? Some are, yes. But, Jesus came to live and die so that we would no longer be subjected to the law. Why, then, are we trying to re-establish the law to govern the moral character of anyone?
Our focus is not supposed to be on the things of this world; we are told by Christ and the apostles that we are to dwell on heavenly things. The everlasting eternity is where we are to concentrate. We're also told we are not to meddle in the lives of those around us, we are to work specifically on our own relationship with Christ. Now, many will say that we are responsible to spread the Word, and while that is true, forcing anyone to live according to Biblical principles doesn't convert them to Christianity. In fact, forcing your beliefs on someone tends to have the opposite outcome from the one you're desiring.
God doesn't force Himself on us: we have free will to accept Him or not. Why are we, then, trying to force anyone to live according to our interpretation of God's will. Most of us struggle to know God's complete will for us as individuals, so how can we then determine His will for someone else?
We're becoming the Sanhedrin, Pharisees and Sadducees that worked so hard against Jesus, Himself and oppressed the Jewish people in the first century. Is that what God wants of us? I highly doubt it.
Let's stop trying to remove the speck from someone else's eye and start working on removing the plank from our own. Let God deal with those who are not living according to His will; all we are required to do is present the truth and light to them, not force them to live according to that truth or in that light.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Communist and Authoritarian Countries
I was just reading a news story online whose topic was North Korea, and the official name of the country, Democratic Republic of North Korea, was used. It struck me how ironic that name is for a country whose leader is not elected but is appointed by the dictator. It's very rare for communist countries to have a familial hierarchy for the leadership of the country. Normally the leader is chosen by the central political machine, such as the politburo of the former Soviet Union.
But, like other countries whose name includes language that suggests the nation is a democracy and a land of freedoms, North Korea represses it's people and refuses to grant them even the most basic of human rights: free speech. Here in the United States we take that right for granted, and often abuse it, but the freedom to voice your opinion is the most fundamental freedom a human being has, or should have. Being told by the government what you can speak is an attempt by that government to control what you think and believe.
No other nation on Earth controls the things spoken by its peoples as harshly as North Korea and China, which also has a name that can only be characterized as farcical: The People's Republic of China. There is nothing about the government of China that gives the people any input or voice. A rose by any other name is still a rose, and these nations, despite their attempts to use their official names to perpetuate an image of freedom and respectability are nothing more than repressive, authoritarian regimes who crush their people under a weight of oppression almost to the point of slavery.
My prayers go out to each and every person who has to live under these despotic regimes. May God give them strength to fight against their oppressors and gain the freedoms their nation's official names represent.
But, like other countries whose name includes language that suggests the nation is a democracy and a land of freedoms, North Korea represses it's people and refuses to grant them even the most basic of human rights: free speech. Here in the United States we take that right for granted, and often abuse it, but the freedom to voice your opinion is the most fundamental freedom a human being has, or should have. Being told by the government what you can speak is an attempt by that government to control what you think and believe.
No other nation on Earth controls the things spoken by its peoples as harshly as North Korea and China, which also has a name that can only be characterized as farcical: The People's Republic of China. There is nothing about the government of China that gives the people any input or voice. A rose by any other name is still a rose, and these nations, despite their attempts to use their official names to perpetuate an image of freedom and respectability are nothing more than repressive, authoritarian regimes who crush their people under a weight of oppression almost to the point of slavery.
My prayers go out to each and every person who has to live under these despotic regimes. May God give them strength to fight against their oppressors and gain the freedoms their nation's official names represent.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Being Misunderstood
Ok, here's the situation: I was recently accused of "being in love with arguing." I was told I have "an answer to everything." The truth is I know a little bit about a lot of things and I know a lot about a few things. I've been a reader all my life, and through my love of reading I've learned a lot of different things on a variety of subjects. It used to be someone who knew a lot of stuff about a few things was considered well informed and intelligent. I don't like to argue, either; in fact, I HATE arguing. I do, however, like having discussions, and sometimes even a good debate, but I do not like arguing.
When someone makes a statement about a topic which I have some knowledge on, I generally try to impart what I do know to educate the other person on what I've learned. It's not meant to be a statement that the other person is wrong so much as to pass along the information I have. Some would say it's my delivery that prompted the accusation that I like to argue, and that could well be true. I don't try to deliver the information in a condescending manner or come across as a "know-it-all", but to some people I guess I could.
There are some times, however, when the subject is about something personal in my life: an event or a situation in my current place in life, where I will respond if the information that is given is not what I know to be true. But, maybe it's the way I convey that information that carries the subliminal message that I think I know more than anyone, somehow, despite that not being my intent.
I am now more aware of the way in which I present the information I do have, and while I've always been one to let someone know when I don't know something, I must be more careful about how I present the information I do know so that I don't make the person I'm talking with feel like I'm trying to be superior.
This game of life is sometimes complicated, and sometimes without knowing it, we can offend someone just by the way we present ourselves or our information. Thankfully, with God, He looks inside our heart and He knows our intent. He's not going off past experiences with others, He's looking solely at what the intent of our heart is. And I'm so grateful for that.
When someone makes a statement about a topic which I have some knowledge on, I generally try to impart what I do know to educate the other person on what I've learned. It's not meant to be a statement that the other person is wrong so much as to pass along the information I have. Some would say it's my delivery that prompted the accusation that I like to argue, and that could well be true. I don't try to deliver the information in a condescending manner or come across as a "know-it-all", but to some people I guess I could.
There are some times, however, when the subject is about something personal in my life: an event or a situation in my current place in life, where I will respond if the information that is given is not what I know to be true. But, maybe it's the way I convey that information that carries the subliminal message that I think I know more than anyone, somehow, despite that not being my intent.
I am now more aware of the way in which I present the information I do have, and while I've always been one to let someone know when I don't know something, I must be more careful about how I present the information I do know so that I don't make the person I'm talking with feel like I'm trying to be superior.
This game of life is sometimes complicated, and sometimes without knowing it, we can offend someone just by the way we present ourselves or our information. Thankfully, with God, He looks inside our heart and He knows our intent. He's not going off past experiences with others, He's looking solely at what the intent of our heart is. And I'm so grateful for that.
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