I have never been under any delusions when it comes to the issues I face with my spine. I know I have a very aggressive case of degenerative disc disease. I've lost 21 of the 24 discs I was born with. That's pretty strong proof of the DDD. Also have stenosis, double scoliosis along with the disc disease. Then I developed arachnoiditis in the late 90s to go with it. I've known for 28 years that it will cause me to progressively lose the ability to work for very long. I'm currently at a point where 10 to 20 minutes is about all I can muster before I have to sit down and rest. For at least 2 to 3 hours. But, I've also beat the odds because God has kept me on my feet these last 26 years, when I should have been in a wheelchair according to x-rays, MRIs and CT scans. No doctor who looks at the images of my spine would say that I'm able to walk, much less work.
And I want to say loud and clear: I'm SO SO SO SO SO GRATEFUL! I just wish I could still be going at least an hour or two of working before having to sit down and rest. I miss being able to get things accomplished in a single day versus a week. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, because I really do have way to much to grateful for to allow or justify any complaining. I just get frustrated with my spine, with my small amounts of being able to work before sitting. I want to keep going even though my spine refuses to go any further. But, I will be okay. God still has His hand on me. Actually, I'm kinda sitting in His hand.
It has been a tough journey, one that truly began on 18 October 1987 on Buncombe Road in Shreveport, Louisiana, right in front of First Assembly of God church (now known as Shreveport Community Church.) In just a couple weeks the 39th anniversary of that wreck will be here. Thirty-nine years of pain. Thirty-nine years of gradually losing the ability to do the things I love to do. I'm 63 years old and I am physically able to do what a 90 year old can do. I've prayed for healing. I've had others pray for my healing. And I know my healing was accomplished before Jesus was hung on the cross. His stripes were taken for my healing. So I know I am already healed. I'm just waiting for the manifestation of it. And sometimes I'm patiently waiting.
I sometimes grimace when someone says I'm living with it, because at times it doesn't feel like living, it feels like existing without living.
